Well you don't need to be some sort of mastermind of Algebrah to know when a special show comes around. And I don't think i need to really elaborate too much when i say i am a mackematician of the female species. After snagging up my now-girlfriend Diana, lyfe has been shuper shick. Shes my Cleopatchwork, I am her Hercusties. its love brahs. its special, like the HAMMERSTEIN THIS PAST SATURDAY! lets get to the madness that was quite possibly THE SHICKEST SHOW I HAVE EVER SEEN.
To give alittle backdrop on the situation here, if i may, Diana and I have now been bumping uglies for approximately 2 months now so i count this officially as the longest relationship i have evah been in (not counting my physical and mental dependence to Oxycontin for 4 months in the summer of 2004). Lyfe has been pretty chill for us really. We really "get" each other. Oh god let me tell you about this past weekend when we were just lying in bed and she called me her wittle cwustie cwitter and i called her my wittle....wait...this is getting off track. oh yea, so Robbie the bear was meeting us in Jersey on friday and then we all were rolling in to the city on Saturday. Weirdest thing though, Robbie never shows on Friday but is there FIRST THING Saturday morning coming out of my momz bedroom. hes holding her up and helping her walk cause apparently she fell down last night or something...anyways. her hair was a mess too. weird. So we all get in the van (not my momz) and hit the road to NYC. So good to see Robbie and we chat about lyfe, magner, the forest, barber, his kidz Shelby and Lai, brownie, and Judaism (Robbie converted for the childrens and Sunshines sake). so me and my neon day-glo princess and matzoh bear hit up the streets outside of the venue at about 3pm. As the kidz roll in, we load up on EVERYTHING, i mean cmon, it IS nye run so we gotta get our shit together. We eat some L, we eat some Cule, We sniff some rock, we sniff some fuel. We get in for GZA at 8PM and let me just say brahs, i am not big into rap or whatever, like i know my Pac and Biggies "In Da Club". I used to wear FUBU to be hard. I used to rock Phat Farm to be down. One time i drank a 40 oz of Crazy Horse and peed all over this underage ghetto chick and videotaped it. So don't tell me I dont know my urban stee lo cause I live this shit...or did at least. then i found bisco...oh and deemsters...and now my pubes are dreaded so you get the dilly-o yo.. BUT, i know my wu tang kidz and GZA WAS ON POINT! what a way to get the show off! he had Wyclef out there and Matisyoohoo and shit was epic! great way to start the night. Diana was looking like an effin Waves > Basis and robbie was laying back (not into hip hop cause they promote the use of guns). Time for the biscuits. guess whose got the play by play? atd of course.
set one begins at 10:47.
they kick it off with a shick 42 (11:25 mins) At around 9:45 min mark I lick half a gram of molly awf a bear paw. At the 10:23 mark I light a butt and then hit the dude in front of me with it burning a hole in his new circle logo shirt. he doesn't notice. shick. the jam drops into Magellan at this point and really starts to take off.
Magellan was 9:42 mins long. at the 2:34 mark I throw back the rest of my beer with a vic,perc,valium, and oxycodone (for the flavor). at the 5:12 mark I hit this chick walking by with my arm and hit her right in the tit. SCORE! i grin for a second and then Diana sees me and I stop. Then I give her some vicadin and squeeze her ass. Robbie attempts to give me the thumbs up from afar but fails due to the lack of an imposable thumb. shucks.
Crickets starts with Matisyahvishnu at around the 3:10 minute mark and this is where Robbie really starts feeling it. He busts out the deemz, some liquid, a bit of shards, a dabble of crack, a 1/2 tsp of meth, a pinch of H, and a smidge of jenkem. Le'chayim! Crickets takes off at the 5:46 min mark and magner turns on the juice. Robbies eyes are all fucked up and he falls down and lands on some fat chick who spills her beer all over herself. She bitches him out, he calls her a meshugeneh. Everyones pissed. Silly Bear, Crix are for kidzzzzz!
You know its going > Confrontation at around the 13:48 mark. At that point I turn to Diana and i give her a kiss. she tastes bitter as hell and i pull back and realize i didn't kiss Diana's mouth at all, in fact, its not Diana, it was Robbies ASS and it was COVERED IN MOLLY!! at 15:33 I chug a beer while everyone fist pumps to Confrontation, pissed that i just tongued my boys asshole...and Diana is now missing. shick jam though fer sure. str8 fiyah.
Astronaut > Astonomy Domine. First Astro-jam is a wook rattling bounce jam that touches the soul and glazes the domepiece. At 7:49 minutes in I see Diana in the corner of my eye through my stunna shades. She was down on the floor (we were first mezz of course) and she was chatting it up with Spun Rob. He was floor tonight with some of his shady friends..not like me and sunshine and Bearashewitz over here...i am talking SHADY. i got boopaloop'd once by them back in 2005 and the vibes went from good to bad right there brahs. and i can't have them hit on my biscochick. At the 13:02 mark I drop down behind the sound guy and start working my power-trance-progressive- pilates-cowfunk-breakbeat-technotronics-stereo mcs-c+c music factory- marky mark and the funky bunch - digifront- taylor hicks dance moves and work the crowd like the jaded vet I am. I rock the floor like dance dance revolution and bust a move right to Diana. at 14:07 I am face to face with a whole bunch of haters. KEEP SIPPIN' BRAHS! This one is MINE." I slap a high5 to Spun and take m'lady by the hand. "DON'T EFFIN TOUCH ME BRAH!!!" she said. I look at her face. shit! those aren't the perfectly dilated pupils of my princess!?!?! I was too spun!!! wrong wookette! As the Biscuits hit Astronomy Domine and end the set I get a text from her. She got booted for puffing hubbas in the ladies room. WTF! set ends at 12:02.
I go up to Robbie and hes on the phone, "Whattup Robbie". "Sup kiiiiiid. Yo! your momz says whassup." he said. "whaat? you talking to my momz?...whatever...Yo, bitch got booted and i think she wants me to join her". "Shit Son. Well, maybe you should, she's your girl dood." says the Bear. Hes a wise bear. So i grab my jacket and hit outside as the opening notes of Shelby Rose start. Shes outside with tears in her eyes. Damn, this chick looks HOT! I buy her a hot dog and we go to my van....and i got some booty i got some booty i got some booty! ya know it was good too. she was a giver, a caring nurturer! she held me in her arms and it was like i was 15 years old all over again! I am effin pissed i missed a shick second set but sometimes brahs you gotta suck it up and be there for your chick. sometimes she comes home from work and bitches for like 20 minutes about some stupid slut at her job she hates. and sometimes she gets all pissy and doesnt want to even look at me. and sometimes she just cries for no reason. but through it all I stick by her. Why? I like the Biscuits, BUT I LOVE PUSSY!
atd
12/29/07 Hammerstein Ballroom, New York, NY
Smif-n-Wessun with the Fyre Dept. openedOTT spins at setbreak
Set I: 42> Plan B1, Crickets2> Save The Robots3, Astronaut> Astronomy Domine4
Set II: Shelby Rose5> Crickets> Story Of The World6 7> Dance Of The Sugarplum Fairies> 42
Encore: 7-115> Wizards in Winter8
1 completes 12/27 version
2 with Matisyahu rap over intro jam
3 ending only
4 1st time played (Pink Floyd)
5 unfinished
6 brownie announced CBVII; July 17-19 in NY
7 inverted
8 1st time played (Trans-Siberian Orchestra)
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