So the weather outside was frightful but the boscos were sho delightful brahmigos. Fer sho. NoHo brought the heat to this chilly mass (pound)town. And let me just say, i've been in the scene for almost 10 years, and what i love most about this special thing called "bisco" is that kidz get less sketchy every year!!! Sho much has occured in the last 6 months since Camp. I have put Diana behind me and moved on. Shit wasn't easy. I had to slay hos and drink booze on the regs just hide my pain. I was always out on the town trying to bang my way to emotional freedom. My game wasn't that toight though. I slayed a couple batches in the first few months, okay i banged one chick...okay fine..she gave me head...i mean hand..whatever. BUT THEN the best thing evaaaaaah happened! Spun Rob got outta rehab and was ready to POUNCE on some ladies son! He gave me a call and was all like "Dude, my mind is straight, i have no desire to do drugs. I just want to go Sir Lancelot on some batches. My game is hot right now. I hooked up with 16 girls in rehab in Miami! You need a wingmang? I am BACK!!" So me and Spun hit the bars and clubs and I have to say, Spun is a SLAYA! He could always convince chicas back to our place. He said he did alot of reading in rehab. He read some book called The Game by Neil Strauss. Whatever he read, dude was landing batches to his cack like a traffic controller. I would always just kinda tag along, offering hubbaz when needed to the ladies. Spun wasn't doing anything but an occasional drink or puff. I was happy for him. That is why I let him stay at my place and bang in my bed, cause we are boys. He was an excellent wingmang and hooked me up all the time with ladies. When NoHo was announced he was hesitant about going but I said its cool, he is sho under control. At least thats what I thought...Lets get this review awf wit da quickness sonnnnnn...
We rolled up to the Quality Zoo around 6 pm. We dropped off our shit. Spun Rob took a shower. I walked outside and followed the sounds of nitrous. I took a couple balloons, scored some molly, some yay, some uppers for supper ya know...I went back to the room and enjoyed myself some sort of buffet, a brahntinental breakfast if you will. Spun came out and saw me sniffin and boofin, rippin and tootin, lickin and stickin, siftin and hittin and his eyes grew LRG! "Yo...whatcha got there brah?" he asked. "Oh, uh ya know...pretty much everything under the sun...why? you dont want any do you?" "Maybe just a ..little...tiny...miniscule...GAGGERINO TO THE FACE!!!" he shouted. "RAAAAAAGE!!!" i screamed and cut out a massive line from one end of the table to the other. He killed the whole thing, hopped up, and yelled, "SLAP ME IN THE EFFIN FACE! DO IT!" So i wailed him in the face. Time to hit the show.
By the time we showed up to the Calvin I was rollin my effin titties awf. The will call line was so fun! And the pat down was really silly! I laughed so much when he was inspecting me! Silly man! Everyone was sooo friendly. Shit. This molecule sure was intense. I was like an effin noob. Spun was too though. Dude was sho rolled out he already had chewed through his back teeth and was spitting out fragments. Plus he was sho shweaty. He said his game was intact and he was planning on dominating the ladies tonight. Then he ran off. I think I just created a monster. I get bumped down to the dance floor area in the front by my good friends Julia and Andrea. "Yo brahmigas, whats new??" I asked. "Did you hear?? Sneaky Pete got out of jail! Julia robbed a bank in New Mexico in November and we got his bail!!!" said Andrea. "No fucking way??" I said, "Dude is the MANG! Where is he at that lovable sonofabitch?" Andrea looked down, "Well...long story but...Hes actually back in jail. Yeahhh...busted. Big time. Like pounds of coke was shipped to his address from Colombia. Some dude he met in jail had this whole elaborate plan to smuggle it to em or whatever. He was out of jail for like 5 days. Now his bail is $250,000."
"Fuck I guess thats that then huh? Nothing you can do there!" i said. "Not necessarily," Andrea answered, "Julia is about to take off with an internet start up company and shes got some MAJOR investors. Julia's new company will make life simpler for programmers and small businesses alike with products such as Lotlook 3.0(project management software) and an increasingly popular open source web framework called Brahster480. The company ditches the philosophy of "more features, more better" in favor of simplicity and accessibility: Focus only on the most important features and make things easier to use. The company itself embodies its keep-it-simple philosophy: Fewer than 10 staffers, working from humble offices, create programs quickly and nimbly adapt them based on user feedback, by uploading the gigatron normalizer to your desktop, Julia's company can rotate the C drive source to Protocol X, blasting the hardcoding and restructuring the inter.." The lights went low. Thank GOD! SAVED BY THE BOSCOS. Phew!. Time to rage. For all you noobs, let me show you alittle concoction I made. I take out a vile of my pocket. Dump it into a cup of ice. I then add Tonic. Then a lime. Vile and Tonic. Sprinkle molly on top for extra fizz. Then down it. Spun Rob out of sight. Oh well. Commence Trancefusion.
Reading the setlist the next day I was FLOORED. Not what I got AT ALL. Probably due to a wee bit of the rage. So Ill sum it up this way. Here is the setlist YOU guys saw. Click on it and you will see what song I THOUGHT was playing.
Set I: Rivers, House Dog Party Favor> Crystal Ball1> House Dog Party Favor2> Above The Waves3
Set II: Killing In The Name> Crickets1> King Of The World4> Gangster> I-Man
Encore: Mr. Don
So the show ends and I stumble out of the Calvin. Mind=blown. I had NO idea what I just saw. I was completely out of my head. I must be getting too old for this crowd. I lost everyone somewhere around the Air Supply cover. I walk back to the Quality Inn alone, stumbling over snow and keybumping my way back to normalcy. I get to the 2nd floor of the hotey and see a massive line. Shit! NITROUS!!! i get right in line. I cant even get to our room its so packed. And TONS of chicks taboot. AFTAH PARTAY!!! WOOOHOOO!! I try to lay the mack right. Got a couple numbers..well...ONE number...in the form of a middle finger to the face. COUNT IT! The line is moving sho slow! "How much nitrous can you batches consume yo??" A chick turns around and looks at me like i am crazy. "Nitrous? You here for some Nitrous? We all waiting to get wit a chance to party wit Rocko in 219 baby!" she said. "219? thats MY room! me and spun..hold on hold on!" I make my way to my room and plow through the door...and what i saw...was the shickest, most raging hotey I have EVAH seen! There were literally 30 chicks in my room in train formation, all butt nekkid, legs open, awaiting spuns less-than-average sized cack. A strobe light was pumping and heavy dirty trance was blaring from an ipod speaker. It was maybe drum-n-bass without the bass. either way, dude was hopping around the room, jumping on each chick, and doing them all, while simultaneously dumping molly and yay all over their bodies and sniffin the shit out of every orafice these chicks offered. Jesus mang. Spun looks up and sees me through the smoke and strobe. "ATD! FUCK MANG WHERE YOU BEEN?!! SHICK SHOW HUH??!" "well yeah, i mean..minus the michael bolton cove.wait.. dude? can i talk to you for a minute? in the bathroom?" "WHAT? ASS CREAM? NO LUBE BRO! FRESH OUT! Sucks!" "NO CAN WE TALK FOR A MINUTE DUDE!?" "Oh yeah SURE. Come to the BATHROOM!!" We get in there, dude is BEYOND gone. "How the hell did you pull this hotey scenario awf brah??" i asked. "To be honest, I just played the game on about 60-70 chicks at the show. Biscuit chicks are the SLUTTIEST!! Its seriously crazy. Are they lined up outside??" he asked. "Um, big time. All to DO you! that AWESOME!" I said. "Yeah dude, soooo you want in on this or what?" He had this crazy look in his eye. He had various colored powders all over his face. He was a complete mess. I looked him up and down and realized something. "dude maybe theres more to this lyfe then eating drugs and seeing the biscuits. Maybes theres more then losing your head and dancing all night..." He stepped back, "dude, what are you saying?" I put my hand on his shoulder, "I...just", all of a sudden the bathtub moved and the shower curtain flew open and two naked asian chicks were taking a bubble bath together in OUR hotey!!! We both looked at them and then each other. "Nevermind" I said. "I'll be in here if you need me." We hugged it out, then he left. I grabbed a handful of molly, dropped my pants and sprinkled the entire handful into the tub. The whole thing fizzled up and the ladies loved it! I jumped in and had my first asian threesome experience (without masterbating). After about 2 hours I hear the cops raid our place. I locked the bathroom. The threw everyone out and I heard Spun screaming and yelling. After the commotion I step outside. The place was a wreck. The effin pigs took all the droogz and the women and my boi Spun. "Damnit Spun, looks like you are going back to rehab...you effin noob." I told my asian flowers, Naomi and Resrey (i think thats what she said) I would see them again. the snow was dumping down, it was 6 am. Suddenly I hear a cop car siren going awf and this copper FLIES into the parking lot and crashes into a snow bank and is skidding everywhere!! HOLY FUCK! then I look and I see Spun driving it!! "BRAH! CMON CMON CMON!!! LETS GO! THEY ARE RIGHT ON MY TAIL!!! WE GOTTA HIT THE ROAD!!!" I grabbed my shit and flew down (not flew, fell actually this time) and hopped in the car. "Dude" I said, "This is INSANE!!!" "I worked this chick cop with some of the Game talk and she totally let me go and take this car!" he yelled and put the car in drive and flew out of there. "Damn, I gotta read this book huh?" I said. "Well lets get the F outta NOHO. We gotta go in hiding for a while buddy is that cool with you?" You my boy Robbie, and last night i made sweet love to two asian princesses at the same time in a bubble bath full of molecule, so yeah..i think i owe you one!!" With the cops on our back we hit the highway and narrowly escaped. We ditched the car and stole another (spun did) and we hit the woods and camped out. We would not be safe for long. We were convicts on the run...
to be continued at House of Blues in Boston
Obrahma,
ATD
01/17/09 Calvin Theatre, Northampton, MA
Set I: Rivers, House Dog Party Favor> Crystal Ball1> House Dog Party Favor2> Above The Waves3
Set II: Killing In The Name> Crickets1> King Of The World4> Gangster> I-Man
Encore: Mr. Don
1 inverted
2 unfinished
3 ending only
4 middle section only
Commentary: Alot of my friends were discussing this book called "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Its this crazy story about professional pick up artists. Since Spun Rob was in rehab, and you do alot of reading there, I thought this book would be his guiding light to sobreity. This was a great show and we raged the Quality Inn that night and our hotel room did involve nitrous, a strobe light, and a ipod boombox.
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