sup haterz. been a minute. some of you know me, others may not. i used to pwn noobs back when people on the internet still used the term "pwn". yeah...like i said...been a minute. but ATD is back. why? cause i, for the first time in 2 years...saw a full Disco Biscuits show (not counting ID Fest Camden when i raged so hard i fell asleep) (also cause i wasnt actually AT the show per say, i was just streaming it from my couch in my apartment) (also cause it was the stream of the night before and i didnt realize it till i came to) (strangely enough when i came to, i also came too).
Its been a while since i raged with the fury and passion that once trolled these boards. I have since been str8 killin the game though. Got a solid west coast LA crew out here on the realz. Lance AKA Trancey Lancey, Brock, Blake, and Jacy. They are all super cool brahs and we rage bisco sbdz and rail moonrocks and hit up the clubs...mostly gay clubs cause they are all super homo but im not no homo i mean wait no im NOT homo not like a double negative...i mean nothing against gay people i just dont like dudes that much. no..shit..not like i dont DO dudes that much i just dont like dudes enough to do them. i mean if there was a gun to my head and i HAD to do a dude i would i guess but that fortunately hasnt happened....in like a really long time....and even though it was dark and i didnt realize it was a water pistol its not like the biggest deal......i mean i was pissed like marn but i still talk to my uncle. cool dude. loved the dead. anyway....time to talk boscos (do kidzz still call them that?) (do we still call ourselves kidzz?) (should i forget the dream i had last night?)
Sunshine was preggers. Robbie the Bear is on a book terr. No, not for himself. He just tours only book tours now. He says hes done like every J K Rowling show in 2011. Hes trying to get a job as a roadie for her doing her lights but no luck so far. Teh Wizard is in an alternate universe currently and wont answer my effin texts like hes a chick who just cant seem to tell me nicely to fuck off. Sneaky Pete is...yup...in Jail. Again. Andrea said she wont rage bisco til he returns in 2025 (which i hear could be THE year for this band to play MSG). Julia quit the biscuits in 2010 after Planet Anthem came out cause "they will literally never top this album" and wanted to get out ahead. Spun Rob got married, had a daughter, and is now a doctor. Spun Rob MD. So i guess i had to rage alone.
Its been sho long since ive been at show it was like i was re-noobed. I didnt know the kidzz i was seeing. The seemed younger. I tried to score dr00gz but everyone was like "are you a cop?". Fuckin shat. I just went in. SO FOR ALL YOU HATERZ OUT THERE JUST LET ME PREFERENCE THIS REVIEW WITH A LITTLE WARNING. I WAS 100% SOBER. NOT "PT SOBER" . NOT A OUNCE OF DRUGS WERE IN MY BODY. NOTHING WAS INGESTED IN MY MOUTH OR BOOFED IN MY BUTT. SO BEFORE YOU TELL ME THAT I WASNT AWARE OF MY SURROUNDINGS AND HAVE NO MERIT JUST KNOW THAT THIS REVIEW ISNT AN OPINION. IT IS FACT. MY REVIEW IS RELEVANT BECAUSE I WAS SOBER SO MY MUSICAL OPINION IS NO LONGER OPINION BUT COMPLETELY 100% FACT AND MUST BE CONSIDERED THE TRUTH.
So the boys kicked it awf with Resurrection. Talk about uninspired. I mean wow terrible opener. Oh i get it you are resurrected! wait no you are my favorite band literally dying in front of me. Went and got a gatorade. Came back and they jammed into Plan B. i mean this jam was so disjointed it was borderline embarrassing. Barber seemed totally not into it and his tone was so off just pick up the Gibson and i could swear he wouldnt even LOOK at brownie. i guess the must be beefing about how they are going to end this journey together and ruin my jaded meaningless life. Next came AC2B. glad to hear this tune...wait until it was disjointingly uninspired. took a piss. Came in to hear You and I. If you like this song then you should KYS. its a joke and uninspiringly disjointed. pretty sure barber flubbed the lyrics too and i could tell it ruined the set for allen who totally phoned in like usual. Sammy would have killed You and I. Mr. Don. Meh. I like Mr. Dons back in 99 and then they totally jumped the shark and noodle uninspiringly until they came to a disjointedness that only could end in embarrassing flubbing and mediocracy. God where is the band I love?!?!
The band left the stage and i could swear magner gave Brownie a smirk like "i hate you so much and you are ruining this band" and Barber looked too fucked up to even play. I took a seat.
The hottest bisco batch evahhhhhh was next to me looking fly as feck. I was like "yo im ATD." Girlie was like "I know who you are. I love your reviews, I'm Caitlin." Then we just started banging sho hard right there...in my head. She was like "you wanna puff a bowl/do a rail/drop some L/boof some K/sniff some rock/huff some deemz?" I was like "Batch. Marry me and let me live inside you forevaahhhhh!!!" Chicky laughed. She had purty eyes. And was wearing this scarf...it was gray...just like the one Diana had. Diana, the now-deceased former love of my life who tragically died in a mid-show drive-by of gunfire by an opposing lot gangster over a love affair that..well...if you dont know the story you are a newb. It was like my lady survives! But hotter. and cooler. This chack could change my lyfe. maybe start a new chapter in my lyfe. make me a phamily mang. Grow old with. Grow weed with. We puffed,snorted,smoked,railed,boofed,chewed, and glazed our domepieces with the quickness. SO WARNING HATERZ AND TROLLS I WAS 100% FUCKED UP OUT OF MY MIND SPUN FOR THIS SET SO DONT TELL ME THAT I DIDNT UNDERSTAND THE MUSIC OR HAD ANY CONCEPT OF TIME AND SPACE BECAUSE I DIDNT AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THE DRUGS MADE EVERYTHING BETTER AND I HAVE NO SAY IN WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG AND MY LIFE CHOICES CLEARLY SHOW THAT. SO REPEAT, I WAS 100% UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DRUGS, SEVEN DRUGS TO BE EXACT, AND HAVE NO CONTROL OVER MY ACTIONS AND/OR THOUGHTS. THIS REVIEW SHOULD BE CONSIDERED THEREFORE IRRELEVANT AND THE OPINION OF AN ASSHAT.
The Biscuits came on stage for set 2 and right awf the bat shit was the HEAAAATTTTTT. Munchkin opener got the place hoppin. Never heard babz with the TONE like this before. i mean his TONE was the best EVAHHHHHHH. He looked locked and loaded and feeling like a king and wanted to make us all feel amazing. Me and caitlin were getting down sho hard i didnt know if my pants were soaking wet from her or the bahbz shredding (also possible third reason was that i pissed myself flame away).
Then came the Little Lai. IF YOU DIDNT LIKE THIS LAI THEN YOU SHOULD JUST STOP SEEING THIS BAND ANYMORE cause it was the tits. and the fiyah. it was like titties on fire and im motor boating dem titties and my face is melting awf cause they covered in flames but i cant stop cause they are titties and i am just. a. man. damnit.
Then into CRICKETS!! i was busting out the old school bisco trance dancing that left newbs jaws on the floor. Jam into this was the best jam of the year by a mile. listen to the boards and tell me im wrong to my effin screenname in upper case letters if you dont believe me!
Caitlin had the sweetest moves this spunion has ever seen. We had chemistry...physically, emotionally, and macrocosmically. Your boy had a heart boner. kangfirmed.
Then BOOM LUNAR PURSUIT!! BEST SONG EVER PLAYED BY A BAND. IF YOU DIDNT LIKE THIS JAM THEN YOU ARE TOO OLD AND DONT UNDERSTAND WHERE THIS BAND IS HEADING. this was the illness. brownie was just dropping bombs and not flushing em and stinking up the joint and magner was playing with two hands and being perfectly metro sexual and allen was thunderclapping and e-harmonying on his iphone while thirst quenching cocks.
THEN CRIX > CONFRONTATION ended the set and i during this segment i grabbed chica and we made out for a second. Then she grabbed me by the junk and was like "bet you think youre crazy. bet you think youre wild!" Oh my god brahmigos. Cant believe she just quoted my favorite bisco song Neck Romancer. We made out some more. She tasted what i imagine cheesesteaks taste to babar.
The encore was the realness.Highwire!!!! ARE YOU EFFIN KIDDING ME?! IF YOU DIDNT LIKE THIS ENCORE THEN YOUR PARENTS FAILED YOU AND YOU SHOULD BOOF YOUR HEAD INTO YOUR ASS. STOP WASTING YOUR MONEY AND MY TIME WITH YOUR HATE AND LET US REAL FANS LIVE OUR LIVES.
After the show i was like "damn girl. So what now? you wanna come rage my hotey with me on the solo tip?" She was like "Oh i would love to.........but Barber just texted me and he got me a backstage pass!!!" My heart sunk into my stomach and my boner sunk inside my sack. "Oh totes, yeah cool...okay...well it was nice meeting you i guess" i said and walked away.
She called me "ATD!!"
I turned around.
"I'm just fucking with you. Lets have sex, then get married, then have like 7 kids, then start a family band and tour the country playing trancefusion for all the world in a bus and bring joy to the entire world."
"Damn baby. I am SHO down with that!....wait....what are your feelings on anal?"
"Love it." she said.
"Then lets party like its NINETEEN NOOBITY NOOB!!!!"
Set 1: Resurrection > Plan B > Aceetobee1 > You and I, Mr. Don
Set 2: Spraypaint, Shelby Rose > Crickets2 > The Great Abyss > Crickets3 > Shelby Rose
Encore: I Remember When
Hotey Set: Penis > Vagina4
1 unfinished
2 inverted (middle section)
3 inverted (ending/beginning)
4 I finished but she didnt and i said im sorry im usually better and we smoked deemz and took a bubble bath.
KYS,
AboveTheDave
12/26/11 • Best Buy Theater • New York , NY
Set 1: Resurrection > Plan B > Aceetobee1 > You and I, Mr. Don
Set 2: Spraypaint, Shelby Rose > Crickets2 > The Great Abyss > Crickets3 > Shelby Rose
Encore: I Remember When
3inverted (ending/beginning)
2inverted (middle section)
1unfinished
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